


Glass between the world and her

by heavenlydevil



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Past Brainwashing, Trippy stuff, brain stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 04:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7493781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenlydevil/pseuds/heavenlydevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's here, she's real. Even when the world's slipping away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glass between the world and her

Lena finds her wandering in the streets in the middle of the night for the thirth time that month.

 

When she had woken up to the empty space besides her, she didn't panic, at least not much. Well, maybe just a bit. This was regular thing, but it still scared her. But she keeps calm, grabs her coat and keys and goes out to find her.

 

Amelie is confused and doesn't recognise her at all, but at least she's not violent or hysterical or trying to hurt herself. She keeps stuttering about Gerard in soft, high voice, her sentences missing words. Sometimes she switches entirely to French, and, well, Lena doesn't speak that. So she nods and smiles while leading her to their home.

 

"I-I have to... I have to go home. Home." She insists.

 

"Don't worry, love, we're going home. Just hold on a bit, 'kay?" Lena tries to smile and bites back a yawn, she's tired, but she can't leave her girlfriend alone. Not when she's like this.

 

But it's worth it. All the tiredness, and fights and everything, it's worth it just to have her.

 

"I... w-who are you again?" It's hard, though.

 

But she knows it's much worse to Amelie. Right now she's not hurting, but later, when all the memories and hurt and guilt come crashing down, it'll feel unbearable.

 

She knows what it's like because she experiences it too. It's not that bad with her, she thinks, after all, she wasn't tortured and brainwashed to kill her husband.

 

To her, it feels like she's having chronal dissociation again.

 

But nope, just regular dissociation.

 

...

 

It still sucks. She does recognise Amelie most of the time, but she doesn't... she doesn't feel real.

 

She feels like she's

 

slipping

 

away

 

Sometimes she sits in place for hours. Amelie has gotten pretty good at recognising when she's starting to dissociate, because she gets more quiet, more still and sometimes she starts to touch her face and hands.

 

That's when Amelie sits next to her and asks her. She has to repeat the question couple of times before Lena understands.

 

_W hh t a a t d do yo hu fee f l l ik e, c h fe rie_

 

_ch s her i e_

 

_c h eee er i s e_

 

_che_

 

_rie_

 

_cherie_

 

_w ha t d o y o u f e el l i k e_

 

She stares at her for a bit, trying to find words. Her mouth feels soft and her words trip over each other.

 

_I feel... I feel nothing. Everything's so... distant. Am I real? Am I here?_

 

Amelie grabs her hand. Is it her hand? She's not sure. She thinks she can feel little bit of pressure from where she's grabbing it, but she's not sure about that, either.

 

_Feel this? It me ans_

 

_you 'r e re al. I t m fean s yo fs u ' re_

 

_he re w hi gth mh e ._

 

_O k f a hy?_

 

Lena blinks and looks at their hands. The words are getting hard to understand again. She tries to focus on them, but she can't. Amelie continues on.

 

_Yo u ' rd fe h ggere an d dI lo dv e y o fu . C a nf y ofu co m g fe bbg a ck dsto m e_

 

She tries to register the words, but it's hard. But Amelie keeps talking and eventually, slowly, she comes back.

 

_I lfof ve yo h u L e ng_

 

_a I lfg o ve you u L ena_

 

_I  lo   ve yo  u_

 

_Le na_

 

The glass between her and the world fades away and she can feel her girlfriend's hand around hers, grabbing it so hard it hurts. She gives a tired, but present smile. There's tears in her eyes and she knows she's going to be sobbing soon.

 

_I'm here._

 

She's here and she's not going anywhere.

**Author's Note:**

> a lot of this is based on my own brain junk, though i don't lose memories like amelie does. but i do dissociate. not that often anymore, but it happens. iiii have thought abt the possibility of me having some kind of DID buuuut it kinda makes my brain hurt and my mom thinks i don't have it and i'm tried of arguing about it with her so *shrugs* so i mean idk how accurate the DID stuff is???? feel free to kick me in the crotch if it's not.
> 
> when i started writing this i thought abt writing amelie with DID but then i thought 'nah' but when i was mostly finished i noticed i wrote it anyway. at least implied it. and i was supposed to focus more on amelie/gays helping each other out, but then tracer kinda took over? (damn it, tracer.)
> 
> but yeah. lemme know what you think, and if there's any mistakes, lemme know abt that too!!! (both brain stuff and typos.)


End file.
